The vultures, circling and soaring,
Marveled at how Gog was warring
Brutal on the sons of man
Whose mortal blood kept pouring, pouring.
That northern king, blood-thirsting, killing-
Drunk from blood he kept on spilling-
Sacked the sacred temple stones …
The sight was something chilling, chilling.
When one third fell by heavy brawling
Blood soaked grounds to God came calling:
Will you turn a deafened ear? …
Jerusalem is falling, falling!
-jwm
Of the Poem (Poetic Parameters)
I totally enjoyed working with this poem. The structure, especially when read aloud, flows gorgeously … almost sing-songy.
The first and forth line of each stanza consists of a nine syllable count; the second line and eight syllable count (i.e. a tetrameter); and the third line, a seven syllable count.
The rhyme scheme is interesting as well: aaba per stanza (similar to a Rubaiyat stanza).
And obviously the stanza itself is a quatrain (i.e. a four lined stanza).
Side Note: Gog is the name of an ancient northern king whose kingdom, Magog, plays an important, albeit sinister, role in Ezekiel's apocalyptic vision of the last days.
Anyhow, hope you like it- let me know ... peace.
3 comments:
I don't just like it, John. I love it! I love that you really take the time to craft your poems. Which by the way, is why I was so excited when you say nice things about mine. When someone is as careful to master their art as you thinks mine is good it's pretty awesome.
I really really like this rhyme scheme. I am now working with some of my old ones and seeing if I could sort of gently arrange them this way. We'll see. I'll give you a hat tip if I can get it right.
And I did read it aloud (after reading it quietly) and it changes the tone...it is beautiful! Also, this shouldn't come as a huge surprise, but I love the biblical imagery. Wonderful wonderful!
P.S. Levertov paper is sadly no longer with me...sorry! I did like her poems a lot though and I'll have to bring out her book and enjoy some more of them.
What a beautiful poem.
Beautifully written, and quite haunting actually, the solemn words combined with the sing-song rhyming of the poem eerily mirrors the state of the holy land today. It really had me coming back to re-read it.. enough times that I was forced to comment! I love it, and if there was a 'love' button, I'd be clicking on it endlessly!
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